I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize