Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
