You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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