STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
