Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
