She's JV to your varsity
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
