I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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