I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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