capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
