I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
