PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
