When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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