You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
