We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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