You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
