I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Shame - the story of my life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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