You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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