weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
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in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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