Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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