omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
