so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
