brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
do herpes really smell.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
