I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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