Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
