we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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