she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
