You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
