She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
