somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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