If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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