Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
