i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
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I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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