Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
