What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
