Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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