OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
