I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
