Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
