My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So. Much. Porn.
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