Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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