This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
