He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
