Quick, to the slutcave!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
