I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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