youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
