If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
