I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
