I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
