haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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