went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
