i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
