Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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