This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
