Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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