i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
