Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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