Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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