Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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