Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize