not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
