In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
