Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
