His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
